Make fun of "The Happening" without having to, you know, see it

Christopher Orr was scheduled to write a review of M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" for The New Republic. He found it so stupefyingly bad, however, that he instead compiled a list of its worst aspects.

Of course this list "spoils" the movie for anyone who had planned to see it (or who were expecting anything like "suspense"), in order that those who had planned never to see it would have plenty of material with which to mock the film without having to sit through it themselves.

Since the threat driving the movie is a colorless agent in the air, Shyamalan has nothing, really, to dramatize visually. He solves this by showing a strong wind every time the deadly agent appears.... [W]e get leaves blowing every time people are going to die, and a hilarious scene where Elliot et al. are running across a field trying to outrace the wind. It's like the climax of Twister, without the twister.

It's a fun read, once you get past the point where Orr acknowledges having a thing for Zooey Deschanel.

Via Kottke.