The entire issue is worth poring through, including their lead story, "Potato Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet".
[Teacher Heather] Warner then gave the boy a star-shaped sticker, explaining that he had learned the unsophisticated system of characters containing no ideogrammic compounds or transformed cognates more quickly than she'd expected.There are also reports from the new Onion Radio News ("No U.S. Military Leader is Worthy To Be Namesake of Breaded Chicken Dish") and ONN Video (complete with important messages about delicious Yu Wan Mei food products).
And holy crap. The Onion online store now features Yu Wan Mei specialty label products. Sadly the "Miscellaneous Tasty Paste" is sold out.
Of course you can read about more Yu Wan Mei products at their website or by following the company on Twitter.
In his farewell editorial, former publisher Herman T. Zweibel announces "Well, I've Sold the Paper to the Chinese."
In his inaugural editorial, new publisher (and CEO of Yu Wan Mei) Zuo Xiabing asks "Why Did No One Inform Us Of The Imminent Death Of The American Newspaper Industry?"
And announces The Onion is up for sale once more.