Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan

"Preparing for a long and grueling war of nutrition, Fritolaysia imposed trade snacktions and set up a blockade of Snakistan's major ports, cutting off their commerce with Yumen, Mmmmadagascar, and the Chex Republic."

Recruiting My Kids for the GOP

I figure reading this book to my kids every night before bed is the one sure way of coverting them to the far-right wing of the Republican party. Was it ghost-written by Ralph Reed?

50 Cent, Kenny G, and Aerosmith headline batmitzvah

Paid for with your tax dollars.

A Bright Future in Sales

Gimme an Rx! Cheerleaders Pep Up Drug Sales. In today's NYTimes.

Kids Gone Wild

"We use kids like Prozac," he said. "People don't necessarily feel great about their spouse or their job but the kids are the bright spot in their day. They don't want to muck up that one moment by getting yelled at. They don't want to hurt. They don't want to feel bad. They want to get satisfaction from their kids. They're so precious to us - maybe more than to any generation previously. What gets thrown out the window is limits. It's a lot easier to pick their towel up off the floor than to get them away from the PlayStation to do it."

Learning the Constellations

During the week of warm November weather two weeks ago, we took the boys outside to look at the stars, the moon, and Venus.

"Maybe we can see Bryan The Hunter," says L.

Must. not. laugh.

So I say, "You mean, O'Brien the Hunter?"

"Yeah, Bryan the Hunter."

Jones Soda 2005 Holiday Pack

Five flavors: Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry Sauce, Turkey & Gravy, Wild Herb Stuffing, and Pumpkin Pie.

0 calories each. (Sweetened with Splenda brand sucralose!)

Cases Of Glitter Lung On The Rise Among Elementary-School Art Teachers

From the sidebar:

"Glitter deposits cause scarring, inflammation, and twinkliness of the lungs, leading to bedazzlemia--a condition in which alveoli are so sparkly that oxygen molecules are reflected away from the bloodstream."

Chris Christmas Rodriguez: Vote him to replace Santa this year

Video of unknown origin, via Rocketboom.

Includes an astonishing and painful sight gag. It's late and I don't want to wake up Ben, but I'm screaming on the inside.

Junior Senior-Move Your Feet

Pixelicious! music video.
Plus the song's pretty catchy.

Table for 10, please. Yes, I'm dining alone.

Taking My Personal Demons Out To Lunch At The Olive Garden.

By Andy Braaksma in McSweeneys.

And... the locked door video

Owch.

Rockin' Christmas Lights

Over-the-top synchronized light show.
No information on whether this is real or an edited sequence of stills.

I'd bet money on the latter.

Doh! Locked doors thwart W's escape

Having surrendered all hope of inheriting the mantle of Ronald Reagan, Bush sets his sights on that of Charlie Callas.

Videoblogs at Anthology Film Archives

A nice promo about videoblogging, cut together to promote a series of screenings at Anthology Film Archives in NYC.

David Cross gets cross with Fox's Marketing Dept

Not sure where this originated; I picked it up on one of my video podcast feeds.

NSFSB (Not safe for small boys)

Buy More Foil

On the Effectiveness of Aluminum Foil Helmets: An Emperical Study

Abstract:

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

Courtesy of John Beach.

when first we practice to deceive

"The primary focus in the aftermath of Bob Woodward's Plame bombshell seems to be on the deserved destruction of Woodward's last bits of credibility as a journalist."

Oh, what a tangled web we weave.... plus a damn good conspiracy theory. Courtesy of Glenn Greenwald.

Snapea Copy

The copy on the back of the bag of "Snapea Crisps" (ingredients: green peas, corn oil, rice, salt) is jaw-droppingly bad, yet somehow also quite poignant. The tone seems inspired by an inter-departmental memo crossed with congressional resolution crossed with a 1940s newsreel.


"The pea has played an important role in dietary life and culture since the dawn of recorded history, and because of its nutritional value it has great potential for our dietary lives in the future. We are expecting to see the continuing development of "Snapea Crisps" as a delicate and tasty product which has taken advantage of the pea's original goodness, and we propose this product as a new type of snack."


The quality of the copywriting did not, however, keep me from eating two-thirds of the bag in a single sitting.

Hadley Equivocates

I so love the Yahoo! News photo editor who picked this shot.

Plus there's the context of the press conference, in which Stephen Hadley admits that when the President said "We do not torture," he meant to add "...all that often."

Emerging Video: Chin Puppets

YouTube is a Web site that lets you post, tag, and share videos online, sort of like Flickr but for video.

And it appears that part of the collective unconscious of teenagers with video cameras is that drawing faces on your chins and filming them upside down is funny.

There's numerous lip synch versions: samaolah's "I Just Wanna Live" and tantan's "Chin Karaoke" explore bubblegum pop (skip 'em both), stormheaven's more successful metal anthem "The Chins" (on page two of the results), and the accomplished taytay2k3's "Taylor the Chin" (two props: one for choosing opera, and the other for actually knowing the words to lip synch to-- although I'll confess at 4:50 its too long to sustain the joke). If you haven't seen enough, the out of focus work of groovy1 features Motown ("Chins").

Both NumSkullz's "Chin Man Episode #2" and ekarma's "Chinny Chin Chin" find that chin puppets swearing is hilariously funny-- I beg to disagree, but at least NumSkullz tried to give his puppet a character and create a sketch.

With just these few examples, there's enough body of work to begin to define a bold aesthetic of amateur chin puppetry:
1) Lip synched work requires choreography.
2) Live singing hasn't been explored-- it would be powerful.
3) Random face movement are funny in their randomness, but no one has connected these motions to character yet... what we are seeing so far are not puppets but proto-puppets, mere automatons.

Christopher Walken: Still Dancing

Okay, so I've seen that Saturday Night Live now has a "Best of Christopher Walken" DVD available. But how did I miss this?

From 2001, the Grammy award winning and 6 MTV award winning Fatboy Slim music video "Weapon of Choice." Directed by Spike Jonze, and featuring the dancing feet of Mr. Walken.

Jay Rosen: After Miller Let There Be Light | The Huffington Post

Reflection on the Judith Miller mess, and how she's done little to help any of us understand.

Judith Miller may be the only investigative reporter alive who doesn't care if you understand, because she does.

'Arrested Development' gets the ax

Sigh.

We'll always have DVD.

Sony Super Ball commercial

I've seen a 30-second version of this on tv, but the two and a half minute extended edit is, all right, I'll say it:

Breathtaking.

5ives Nails It, Again

Don't know how I missed this one. Got to fix my RSS reader.

Five rules from the NPR drinking game
October 13th, 2005
Nina Totenberg reads a transcript (1 drink)
oboe is heard (2 drinks)
Malcolm Gladwell reference (1 drink)
Scott Simon cracks himself up (1 drink)
Daniel Schorr mentions Watergate (3 drinks)

12 Songs

It may very well be, as Newsweek suggest, Neil Diamond's best album in thirty years.

The stripped down, intimate recording of Neil actually playing his own guitar while singing his own songs, all new compositions, was Rick Rubin's idea.

And while this model has worked for Rubin before, I have to say, to my ear, it just proves that Neil Diamond is no Johnny Cash.

Oh, and the link? It's to Neil's MySpace page.

I reserve the right to change my mind. I've only heard 8 tracks, and Neil's batting .250 right now.

More great TV that no one watches

Just to add to our cherished list of great TV that no one else seems to watch, check out Classic Arts Showcase on channel 32. Commercial-free, foundation-sponsored. Clips from decades of dance, theatre, music, opera. To watch the difference over the years in how classic vocal standards are interpreted is surprising. Also amazing: the agelessness of anything Balanchine. Think of it as radio on your TV. MTV as it should be.

Mike Brown's emails

Two days after Katrina hit, Marty Bahamonde, one of the only FEMA employees in New Orleans, wrote to Brown that "the situation is past critical" and listed problems including many people near death and food and water running out at the Superdome.

Brown's entire response was: "Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?

New Albert Brooks movie

It may be that the trailer is comprised of the funniest moments in this movie. Still, it looks promising.