Thursday, November 17, 2005

Buy More Foil

On the Effectiveness of Aluminum Foil Helmets: An Emperical Study


Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

Courtesy of John Beach.


Christa said...

Okay, but what about if you wash, save and reuse your foil helmet rather than throwing it away after one use?

Anonymous said...

What do you mean, "throwing it away after one use..."?!?!?!!!???