TV Stardom on $20 a Day

The NYT does videoblogging. Again.
This time in the Television section of the paper.
(Previously it was featured in Technology)

Postcards from Buster . Whitesburg, Kentucky

This morning, Buster meets two "old timey" secret agents, who fiddle, square dance, clog, and apparently need the latest Spy Kids gear to do it. Liam is spellbound.

Jon Carroll: On living in a bubble

"Is it any wonder real estate prices are so high? People want to leave, but they can't. Out There, people smoke in restaurants! OK, I'll pay a million-five for that hovel; just don't make me eat at a Denny's in Houston."

"Just a goddamned piece of paper"

From the world of alternative capitol hill reporting, this charming report of a president...a tad ambivalent about his oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Pinter's Nobel lecture

Excerpt:

It never happened. Nothing ever happened. Even while it was happening it wasn't happening. It didn't matter. It was of no interest. The crimes of the United States have been systematic, constant, vicious, remorseless, but very few people have actually talked about them. You have to hand it to America. It has exercised a quite clinical manipulation of power worldwide while masquerading as a force for universal good. It's a brilliant, even witty, highly successful act of hypnosis.

I put to you that the United States is without doubt the greatest show on the road. Brutal, indifferent, scornful and ruthless it may be but it is also very clever. As a salesman it is out on its own and its most saleable commodity is self love. It's a winner. Listen to all American presidents on television say the words, 'the American people', as in the sentence, 'I say to the American people it is time to pray and to defend the rights of the American people and I ask the American people to trust their president in the action he is about to take on behalf of the American people.'

It's a scintillating stratagem. Language is actually employed to keep thought at bay. The words 'the American people' provide a truly voluptuous cushion of reassurance. You don't need to think. Just lie back on the cushion. The cushion may be suffocating your intelligence and your critical faculties but it's very comfortable. This does not apply of course to the 40 million people living below the poverty line and the 2 million men and women imprisoned in the vast gulag of prisons, which extends across the US.

Project Bandaloop

I've never seen San Francisco dance company Project Bandaloop live, but I still think their dance is fabulous. Maybe it's that they dance on location.

Well, more specifically, it's that their locations are three stories, or seven stories, or ten stories in the air. On the side of a building. Dangling from the Space Needle. You know, just to play with our conventional notions of "up" and "down."

Of course, dancing in Yosemite is breathtaking, too, and not just for the scenery. It might have something to do with the two thousand vertical feet of air between the dancers and valley floor.

Nice CBS Sunday morning featurette here.

Wasabi Funyuns

Lowbrow and small time, underachieving and unpopular, Funyuns are the Roger Clinton of the Frito-Lay family.

Tastes better with Holiday Spice Pepsi!

Goodbye, Moon

An Op-ed in the NYT on HarperCollins' decision to digitally remove the cigarette from Clement Hurd's photograph in the latest edition of GOODNIGHT MOON.

A fire blazing in the fireplace while Bunny sleeps? Suggested change: Get rid of it. At the very least, digitally add a fire extinguisher to the wall. And hello? Where are the smoke detectors?

New Colors for Old Paint Factory

To answer your occasional questions about what do I do all day: here's my latest web page. I get to create these occasionally for my work. Sorry about the Jurassic federal government style. (Imagine: using 'federal government' and 'style' in the same sentence. A first!)

Yacht Rock

From channel101.com, five episodes from the violent and melodramatic history of smooth pop music.
See! Michael McDonald join forces with Kenny Loggins
See! McDonald & Loggins take on Hall & Oates in a back alley fight
See! Steve Perry teach Loggins how to rock
Hear! Smooth music!

Winner, Best Show and Best Editing,
Channel 101 "Channy" Awards

c

Staging 101

Jon Carroll's observations on the real estate staging phenomenon.



So what is this staging, the staging that adds the bucks to the bottom line? One word: throws. There are bloody throws everywhere. There must be huge throw warehouse somewhere; truckloads must disappear into the real estate universe every week.

No books are permitted in a staged house, except tasteful coffee-table volumes on Impressionist painters or architects of the early 20th century. And the books are rarely placed on a bookshelf. In the house across the street, one set was put on an ottoman -- and then partially covered with a throw.

This Season's War Cry: Commercialize Christmas, or Else - New York Times

Christa and I were just talking about this today, before I came across this. Although I was unaware of the pro-retail angle.

Michael Wolf | Hong Kong | Architecture of Density

A photo exhibition of urban population density. Most buildings photographed without any sky or ground visible.

Most confusing AP headline of the day...

"Food Critic Wins Bad Sex In Fiction Prize"

So what does the runner up get?

Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan

"Preparing for a long and grueling war of nutrition, Fritolaysia imposed trade snacktions and set up a blockade of Snakistan's major ports, cutting off their commerce with Yumen, Mmmmadagascar, and the Chex Republic."

Recruiting My Kids for the GOP

I figure reading this book to my kids every night before bed is the one sure way of coverting them to the far-right wing of the Republican party. Was it ghost-written by Ralph Reed?

50 Cent, Kenny G, and Aerosmith headline batmitzvah

Paid for with your tax dollars.

A Bright Future in Sales

Gimme an Rx! Cheerleaders Pep Up Drug Sales. In today's NYTimes.

Kids Gone Wild

"We use kids like Prozac," he said. "People don't necessarily feel great about their spouse or their job but the kids are the bright spot in their day. They don't want to muck up that one moment by getting yelled at. They don't want to hurt. They don't want to feel bad. They want to get satisfaction from their kids. They're so precious to us - maybe more than to any generation previously. What gets thrown out the window is limits. It's a lot easier to pick their towel up off the floor than to get them away from the PlayStation to do it."

Learning the Constellations

During the week of warm November weather two weeks ago, we took the boys outside to look at the stars, the moon, and Venus.

"Maybe we can see Bryan The Hunter," says L.

Must. not. laugh.

So I say, "You mean, O'Brien the Hunter?"

"Yeah, Bryan the Hunter."

Jones Soda 2005 Holiday Pack

Five flavors: Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry Sauce, Turkey & Gravy, Wild Herb Stuffing, and Pumpkin Pie.

0 calories each. (Sweetened with Splenda brand sucralose!)

Cases Of Glitter Lung On The Rise Among Elementary-School Art Teachers

From the sidebar:

"Glitter deposits cause scarring, inflammation, and twinkliness of the lungs, leading to bedazzlemia--a condition in which alveoli are so sparkly that oxygen molecules are reflected away from the bloodstream."

Chris Christmas Rodriguez: Vote him to replace Santa this year

Video of unknown origin, via Rocketboom.

Includes an astonishing and painful sight gag. It's late and I don't want to wake up Ben, but I'm screaming on the inside.

Junior Senior-Move Your Feet

Pixelicious! music video.
Plus the song's pretty catchy.

Table for 10, please. Yes, I'm dining alone.

Taking My Personal Demons Out To Lunch At The Olive Garden.

By Andy Braaksma in McSweeneys.

And... the locked door video

Owch.

Rockin' Christmas Lights

Over-the-top synchronized light show.
No information on whether this is real or an edited sequence of stills.

I'd bet money on the latter.

Doh! Locked doors thwart W's escape

Having surrendered all hope of inheriting the mantle of Ronald Reagan, Bush sets his sights on that of Charlie Callas.

Videoblogs at Anthology Film Archives

A nice promo about videoblogging, cut together to promote a series of screenings at Anthology Film Archives in NYC.

David Cross gets cross with Fox's Marketing Dept

Not sure where this originated; I picked it up on one of my video podcast feeds.

NSFSB (Not safe for small boys)

Buy More Foil

On the Effectiveness of Aluminum Foil Helmets: An Emperical Study

Abstract:

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

Courtesy of John Beach.

when first we practice to deceive

"The primary focus in the aftermath of Bob Woodward's Plame bombshell seems to be on the deserved destruction of Woodward's last bits of credibility as a journalist."

Oh, what a tangled web we weave.... plus a damn good conspiracy theory. Courtesy of Glenn Greenwald.

Snapea Copy

The copy on the back of the bag of "Snapea Crisps" (ingredients: green peas, corn oil, rice, salt) is jaw-droppingly bad, yet somehow also quite poignant. The tone seems inspired by an inter-departmental memo crossed with congressional resolution crossed with a 1940s newsreel.


"The pea has played an important role in dietary life and culture since the dawn of recorded history, and because of its nutritional value it has great potential for our dietary lives in the future. We are expecting to see the continuing development of "Snapea Crisps" as a delicate and tasty product which has taken advantage of the pea's original goodness, and we propose this product as a new type of snack."


The quality of the copywriting did not, however, keep me from eating two-thirds of the bag in a single sitting.

Hadley Equivocates

I so love the Yahoo! News photo editor who picked this shot.

Plus there's the context of the press conference, in which Stephen Hadley admits that when the President said "We do not torture," he meant to add "...all that often."

Emerging Video: Chin Puppets

YouTube is a Web site that lets you post, tag, and share videos online, sort of like Flickr but for video.

And it appears that part of the collective unconscious of teenagers with video cameras is that drawing faces on your chins and filming them upside down is funny.

There's numerous lip synch versions: samaolah's "I Just Wanna Live" and tantan's "Chin Karaoke" explore bubblegum pop (skip 'em both), stormheaven's more successful metal anthem "The Chins" (on page two of the results), and the accomplished taytay2k3's "Taylor the Chin" (two props: one for choosing opera, and the other for actually knowing the words to lip synch to-- although I'll confess at 4:50 its too long to sustain the joke). If you haven't seen enough, the out of focus work of groovy1 features Motown ("Chins").

Both NumSkullz's "Chin Man Episode #2" and ekarma's "Chinny Chin Chin" find that chin puppets swearing is hilariously funny-- I beg to disagree, but at least NumSkullz tried to give his puppet a character and create a sketch.

With just these few examples, there's enough body of work to begin to define a bold aesthetic of amateur chin puppetry:
1) Lip synched work requires choreography.
2) Live singing hasn't been explored-- it would be powerful.
3) Random face movement are funny in their randomness, but no one has connected these motions to character yet... what we are seeing so far are not puppets but proto-puppets, mere automatons.

Christopher Walken: Still Dancing

Okay, so I've seen that Saturday Night Live now has a "Best of Christopher Walken" DVD available. But how did I miss this?

From 2001, the Grammy award winning and 6 MTV award winning Fatboy Slim music video "Weapon of Choice." Directed by Spike Jonze, and featuring the dancing feet of Mr. Walken.

Jay Rosen: After Miller Let There Be Light | The Huffington Post

Reflection on the Judith Miller mess, and how she's done little to help any of us understand.

Judith Miller may be the only investigative reporter alive who doesn't care if you understand, because she does.

'Arrested Development' gets the ax

Sigh.

We'll always have DVD.

Sony Super Ball commercial

I've seen a 30-second version of this on tv, but the two and a half minute extended edit is, all right, I'll say it:

Breathtaking.

5ives Nails It, Again

Don't know how I missed this one. Got to fix my RSS reader.

Five rules from the NPR drinking game
October 13th, 2005
Nina Totenberg reads a transcript (1 drink)
oboe is heard (2 drinks)
Malcolm Gladwell reference (1 drink)
Scott Simon cracks himself up (1 drink)
Daniel Schorr mentions Watergate (3 drinks)

12 Songs

It may very well be, as Newsweek suggest, Neil Diamond's best album in thirty years.

The stripped down, intimate recording of Neil actually playing his own guitar while singing his own songs, all new compositions, was Rick Rubin's idea.

And while this model has worked for Rubin before, I have to say, to my ear, it just proves that Neil Diamond is no Johnny Cash.

Oh, and the link? It's to Neil's MySpace page.

I reserve the right to change my mind. I've only heard 8 tracks, and Neil's batting .250 right now.

More great TV that no one watches

Just to add to our cherished list of great TV that no one else seems to watch, check out Classic Arts Showcase on channel 32. Commercial-free, foundation-sponsored. Clips from decades of dance, theatre, music, opera. To watch the difference over the years in how classic vocal standards are interpreted is surprising. Also amazing: the agelessness of anything Balanchine. Think of it as radio on your TV. MTV as it should be.

Mike Brown's emails

Two days after Katrina hit, Marty Bahamonde, one of the only FEMA employees in New Orleans, wrote to Brown that "the situation is past critical" and listed problems including many people near death and food and water running out at the Superdome.

Brown's entire response was: "Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?

New Albert Brooks movie

It may be that the trailer is comprised of the funniest moments in this movie. Still, it looks promising.

'05 Annual Performance Review: Albert Einstein

That's '05 as in 1905, of course.

This is a patent office, Albert. Your job is to transform written patent applications into clear and precise language, and to study applications and pick out the new ideas of an invention. These are the priorities. Where does it say that your priorities are rewriting the rules of the Universe, unifying space and time, unifying radiation and matter, or demonstrating the existence of atoms?

Brought to you by Peter Norvig, he of the Gettysburg Address PowerPoint Presentation fame.

Everybody Hates Harriet

Before the name Harriet Miers fades from your memory, take a moment to savor the eyeliner in this caricature.

Truth, Lies, and Statistics

American armed forces lost in the Iraq conflict have now reached 2,000. Chris Bowers reflects on the numbers:

Iraq Body Count currently records the number of Iraqi civilian fatalities as at least 26,690, and as many as 30,051.
As of this writing, at least 3,450 Iraqi security forces have been killed since the start of the insurgency.
In addition to Iraqi and American fatalities, coalition forces in Iraq have suffered at least 199 fatalities, including 97 from Britain.
At least 272 contractors have been killed.
At least 58 journalists have been killed.

Across Laos on One Wheel

My storytelling colleague, Megumi, specializes in Japanese and Japanese-American stories. She once told me she was married to a man who's hobby was Mountain Unicycling. Like Mountain biking, but with one wheel.

Now she, her husband, and her 13 year old son are taking a trip to Laos.

And they're bringing their unicycles.

Bathtime in Clerkenwell

Kickass animated music video of a song by The Real Tuesday Weld,
itself a resample from a Mills Brothers track.

You Know That Whole Valerie Plame Thing

If you've been having trouble following the Valerie Plame ins and outs of who's a source and who's going to be indicted and for what, Adam Felber ("Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me") puts it in a context that even a 6th grader could understand:

See, someone told Judy that Valerie (you know, Joe’s Valerie?) worked for the CIA. At first everyone was all, like, it’s gotta be Scooter who said it, or maybe Karl or even Dick, but Judy wasn’t telling and she got in like really big trouble for that, you know? Pat got REALLY angry about it and sent Judy away....

Feeling the news at you

From Stephen Colbert's debut news hour:

Did you know that you have more nerve endings in your stomach than in your head? Look it up. Now, somebody's gonna say `I did look that up and it's wrong'. Well, Mister, that's because you looked it up in a book. Next time, try looking it up in your gut. I did. And my gut tells me that's how our nervous system works.

WikiPedia: Made-up words in The Simpsons

Chocobots
Saxomophone
Rebigulator
Flunjers, Capdabblers, Smendlers

How Bob Iger Saved Network TV

Gazillionaire blogger/NBA owner/blogger Mark Cuban suggests that the video iPod --and specifically, the $1.99 download via iTunes-- will turn the revenue model for network TV on its head.

Even the worst primetime television shows have on ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox get millions of viewers. If the network can convert a couple percentage points of viewers into downloaders, it can turn into decent money. 2 bucks a pop. 50k downloads per eps. Thats more money than a hit reality show like Survivor earns in syndication.

He also suggests that this revenue stream will make up for the loss of revenue as TiVo owners block out commercials and drive down the cost of advertising.

For President Under Duress, Body Language Speaks Volumes

Wishing i could watch this clip (NBC's video is Internet Explorer 6-only), but Dana Milbank's description might be funnier than the reality.

When Lauer asked if Bush, after a slow response to Katrina, was "trying to get a second chance to make a good first impression," Bush blinked 24 times in his answer. When asked why Gulf Coast residents would have to pay back funds but Iraqis would not, Bush blinked 23 times and hitched his trousers up by the belt.

Liam held the snake today

Slither
Originally uploaded by andipantz.

"We have a snake at school and his name is Picnic.

And the story is: when they got it, I wasn't there. It was about as
big as a pencil.
It used to be close to its tail and they bring it to church one day
and it went into Lloyd's shirt and it came out his sleeve. Lloyd has a
daughter and when she was a baby she tried to say "Pink Snake" and
Lloyd thought she said "Picnic" so he named him that because it was a
funny name.

He stays there when school is not open.

He is a corn snake.

He has a bowl of water and a piece of log, I think when he is tired.
And this is the first time the corn snake has ever been to Lloyd's
house. Lloyd is a teacher at my new school-- I already started it.

And also when I was not there they had a kitty that brought in
presents-- not like Santa's presents-- one day it brought in a mouse.
Its claws were too sharp and the little mousie died and they buried
it. And they have the skeleton of the mouse."

The Blognabbit Special Election Challenge

Finding decent blog postings and smart op/ed pieces on state issues is more difficult than National ones, I think.
How many can we find before November ?

Link goes to UC Berkeley's Institute of Governmental Studies, for background on the ballot measures.

For finding the snappy blog entries, you're on your own.

The Best Gizmo You Don't Have

Videochatting is becoming a notable part of Ben's life.
Right after we end a videochat with Pete & Judy he asks to talk to Nana.
Right after we end a videochat with Nana he asks to talk with Ro-Ro and Liam.

Follow the link to Mark Morford's column this past Friday. Practically a love letter to apple's isight camera and ichat.

Carol Lloyd: Buyer Beware

I stopped reading the Real Estate pages about a month after we moved in. I never liked the listings anyway. I always read the trends, the how-tos, the market predictions. I even read Carol Lloyd ("Surreal Estate" in the Chron).

Read her again today.

Now I'm going to have Nightmares. Even though we didn't waive any inspections.

The HESSENIUS GROUP

(from Barry's Arts Blog and Update)

Barry Hessenius, former California Arts Council Director (back when it had actual funding from the state budget), used to send out weekly emails from his office. I was never impressed with his weekly emails, and so when I heard he was starting a blog, I shrugged. BUT:

"The Hessenius Group," a take-off on The McLaughlin Group television show, is a brilliant use of his blog. He assembles a team of top mover, shakers, and thinkers in arts administration, and fires off questions. Being online, it's not as fiery or as spirited as McLaughlin's show, but still, it's like being set down at an arts administration conference post keynote hallway conversation.

Okay, you really have to be interested in arts policy and nonprofit management to enjoy this... but the model is impressive. Well, after one episode, anyway.

This panel discusses the effect of a possible repeal of the Estate tax on the arts world.

And more interesting is the question: "ARE we seeing the precipitous decline in the presentation and support for alternative arts performances?"

In addition to suggesting that the term alternative means a zillion different things, the panelists suggest several factors, all of which I find fascinating:
1) the cultural conservatism of the last 20 years has shrank the audience for art;
2) the economics of art, especially of the last 20 years, is making it harder to produce art;
3) co-option of edgy art by for-profit which is actually making edgy material a mainstream source of revenue (i.e. HBO, Sundance) in broadcast media;
4) the arts funders have neglected the distribution channels of niche art forms
5) the Web is providing a new distribution channel and outlet for alternative voices and providing direct competition with previous forms of art-- not only for distribution-- but competing with the "values" of live art ("Digital media can be expected to challenge increasingly each of the special powers and values of live art (sensory immediacy, stagecraft, the communal experience, etc.) increasingly."

Thomas the Earworm

I was suffering a kind of Chinese water torture today as the Thomas the Tank Engine And Friends theme song sloshed around my head like a washing machine stuck on 'rinse'. Hoping to purge the earworm by indulging it, I googled one of the offending phrases and discovered someone else blogging about being driving crazy by that same song. Sub sole nihil nove est.

The power of the virus is mighty:

They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight.
Shunting cars and hauling freight.
Red and green and brown and blue,
They're the Really Useful crew!
All with different roles to play,
'round Tidmouth sheds or far away.
Down the hills and 'round the bend,
Thomas and his friends!

Cog

This is sooo 2003. But for some reason, this Honda commercial popped into my mind today, so I thought I'd check to see if it was still around.
Yup.
By the way, it's two continuous shots. Can you find the cut?

W's jaw twitch

Is the W robot malfunctioning? What is happening here?

Posted by Harry Shearer on the Huffington Post.

Wal-Mart's Commitment to Our Communities

Blogger Bill in Portland ME recounts a high school teacher, Selina Jarvis, who:

assigned her senior civics and economics class "to take photographs to illustrate their rights in the Bill of Rights," she says. One student "had taken a photo of George Bush out of a magazine and tacked the picture to a wall with a red thumb tack through his head. ..."

According to Jarvis, the student, ... was just doing his assignment, illustrating the right to dissent.

But over at the Kitty Hawk Wal-Mart, where the student took his film to be developed, this right is evidently suspect. An employee in that Wal-Mart photo department called the Kitty Hawk police on the student. And the Kitty Hawk police turned the matter over to the Secret Service. On Tuesday, September 20, the Secret Service came to Currituck High.

"At 1:35, the student came to me and told me that the Secret Service had taken his poster," Jarvis says. "I didn't believe him at first. But they had come into my room when I wasn't there and had taken his poster, which was in a stack with all the others." She says the student was upset.

1918 Influenza virus was Bird Flu

Quick summary by Gina Kolata, author of FLU, the scary book I read about the 1918 epidemic.

"This is huge, huge, huge," said John Oxford, a professor of virology at London Hospital Medical College, who was not part of the research team. "It's a huge breakthrough to be able to put a searchlight on a virus that killed 50 million people. I can't think of anything bigger that's happened in virology for many years."

US car exports booming--in Iraq

From the Boston Globe:

The FBI's counterterrorism unit has launched a broad investigation of US-based theft rings after discovering that some of the vehicles used in deadly car bombings in Iraq...were probably stolen in the United States.

Ipodmybaby

Boingboing calls it "infringoriffic!"

It's ---- Hammertime

There was much wild dancing around our kitchen when the Hammer came down. 'Course none of it was by Tim or the kiddos, so I had to make up for their sitting on the sidelines.

Paul Wellstone Memorial

A memorial was recently dedicated to Senator Paul Wellstone and those that died with him in a plane crash in 2002. The memorial is in Evelyth, MN, near where the plane went down.

Reading about the memorial reminded me what a terrible loss this was. I sure do wish he were still around.

Future Governor of Michigan: The Nuge

Ted Nugent is not an evolution guy.

This became apparent recently when Mr. Nugent, the 57-year-old rocker, huntsman and N.R.A. board member, brandished a blood-drenched liver he had just pulled from a freshly slain deer. ...

"Big bangs don't make this," Mr. Nugent said, musing on the steaming organ he held before him. "That's not a big bang. God made that. That's a liver. That's mystical. You and I can't make livers. Things banging don't make livers. This is mystical stuff. This is magic. This is perfection."

Read on about debut of The Nuge's second reality series (who knew there was a first?) and his all-too-serious political aspirations.

Well, well, well...

The NYT reports today that WellPoint is buying WellChoice in a deal for $6.5 million.

What does this mean for the future of WellNext, WellCom, WellTech and WellPro*?

Are consumers are rapidly losing freedom of choice in the Well-plus-intracap market?




* all actual companies

New twist on Iraq aid: U.S. seeks donations

Iraq needs your help in the reconstruction of its country.
It was recently invaded, you see, and continues to suffer attacks from a myriad of insurgents with competing agendas, plus additional destruction at the hands of the occupying force as it demolishes towns every few months to spite eliminate the insurgent forces.

From the U.S. perspective, though, it's better than taxes: it's TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.

Maybe we can convert things like the EPA and FDA to this kind of funding model...

Strategic Attempts to Deflect Attention

STRATEGIC ATTEMPTS TO DEFLECT ATTENTION BY THE MOST OBVIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT MEMBER OF THE DONNER PARTY.

By Jay Dyckman in McSweeneys.

Welfare Schmelfare. Put'em on TV.

Tim Goodman gives a hearty endorsement today to the new reality show "Three Wishes." His comment makes me wonder if Bush's faith-based Initiatives could be replaced with network-based initiatives where product placement and advertising revenue fund social programs.


"Listen: If, for the forces of good to triumph -- helping people in real need, paying medical bills, building homes, pushing through adoptions, getting surgeries performed -- that good has to be done on a reality show that manipulates viewer reaction for maximum tears, is filled with gratuitous product placements and is hosted by Amy Grant, so be it."

Never Pay Retail

So who was the financial guy at the NY Times that thought of this business model?

They put Dowd, Friedman, Krugman behind a subscription wall, thinking that'll be a cash cow?

What it's going to do is drive bloggers to post links to the syndicated columns in other papers, increasing eyeballs and thus ad revenue for those papers web sites (instead of the NYTimes).

John Tabin has already set up a blog tracking down the columns and posting links (to the Raleigh-Durham News Observer, Minneapolis St.Paul Star Tribune, etc). Sure, they're a day or two behind the NYTimes, but they are free.

Bismillah!

We will be spending our anniversary this year at Paris-Las Vegas, in the front row at the new live show "We Will Rock You":

On Planet Mall, all musical instruments are banned. The Company Computers generate the tunes and the kids download them. It’s an age of boy bands and of girl bands. Of boy and girl bands. Of girl bands with a couple of boys in them that look like girls anyway. Nothing is left to chance. Hits are scheduled years in advance. Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. But resistance is growing. Underneath the gleaming cities, down in the lower depths live the Bohemians. Rebels who believe that there was once a Golden Age when the kids formed their own bands and wrote their own songs. They call that time The Rhapsody. Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see. Legend persists that somewhere on Planet Mall instruments still exist. Somewhere, the mighty axe of a great and hairy guitar god lies buried deep in the rock. The Bohemians need a hero to find this axe and draw it from the stone. Is the one who calls himself Galileo that man? He’s just a poor boy. From a poor family.

Bill O'Reilly's continuing obsession with inter-species marriages

O'REILLY: The secular progressive movement would like to have marriage abolished, in my opinion. They don't want it, because it is not diverse enough. You know, that's what this gay marriage thing is all about. But now, you know, the poly-amorphous marriage, whatever they call it, you can marry 18 people, you can marry a duck, I mean --

LIS WIEHL (co-host): A duck? Quack, quack.

O'REILLY: Well, why, you know, if you're in love with the duck, who is the society to tell you you can't do that?

(Note: Goats evidently are an at-risk population as well.)

Bill Maher: Letter to the President

"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

You don't really need to click on the link. That's the best line.

Soviet Monkey Space Pants on eBay

The monkey's "space pants" are designed with many clasps to fit bigger or smaller monkey.

Minnesota Fifth Graders Whip It Good

An elementary school project: remake Devo's "Whip It" music video.

Can we send Ben to *that* school?

Googlewhacking for fun and profit

I recently heard Dave Gorman interviewed on the radio and he's quite funny. Here's his account of how Googlewhacking became the impetus of a world travel adventure, a book, and a great way to NOT write a novel. Besides writing this book, he is also a solo performer based in the UK.

Byrdman

From a recent speech by Sen. Robert Byrd (D-West Virginia), born the same year as my dad (and JFK too, for that matter):

"Who among us did not shrink in dread from the specter of our fellow citizens' bodies floating in the murky flood waters or stacked in hospital stairwells for want of anywhere else to house them? Could this be happening in a major American city? Could we be so inept at dealing with this tragedy? The events of the past several days seem to have reduced our much touted American know-how and technology to little more than children's toys, strangely impotent in a real crisis. I know that many Americans cringed, as I did, at the vision of callous neglect of our poorest and most vulnerable citizens which flashed around the world, making the United States appear to be a nation unmindful of its own, a nation unable to handle a disaster about which it had ample notice, a country loudly touting our form of government to the world, while failing to provide even the most basic protections to our own citizens."

Yeah, maybe more often than not these guys sound like blowhards, but... give me this kind of old-fashioned blowhard any day over, say, Rick Santorum.

The Byrd bio:

Bob Dylan's Minnesota Backroads

The article didn't necessarily wow me, but I really liked the audio slide show that acccompanies it.

L called a meeting of all the Space toys

space circle
Originally uploaded by ereneta.

Clockwise, starting with the chimpanzee: Driver Jumpy, Workspace, Driver Joe, Orbit Space Shuttle, Lunky Potato, Driver Funky, Space Capsule Launchy, Floaty Air, Erky Worky Work, Launch Baunchy, Blahblibla Blahblahblahbli, Explorer, Worky, Driver Fonky

NBC to get San Francisco tower up and running

Well, we might finally be able to get NBC on a non-rainy day for the first time in three years.

Too bad there's absolutely nothing on NBC worth watching anymore.

Got Pork?

Why the Army Corps of Engineers can't prioritize spending: it's Congress' 24-hour pork buffet. The Washington Post looks at how federal water projects, and flood control projects in particular, are largely determined by which congresspeople are first in line for the pork.

"[M]ore than any other federal agency, the Corps is controlled by Congress; its $4.7 billion civil works budget consists almost entirely of "earmarks" inserted by individual legislators."

The Post asserts that there was no shortage of money appropriated to Louisiana for its water projects in recent years. Problem was, were those projects the right ones?

"But over the five years of President Bush's administration, Louisiana has received far more money for Corps civil works projects than any other state, about $1.9 billion; California was a distant second with less than $1.4 billion, even though its population is more than seven times as large."

and:

"Yesterday, congressional defenders of the Corps said they hoped the fallout from Hurricane Katrina would pave the way for billions of dollars of additional spending on water projects. Steve Ellis, a Corps critic with Taxpayers for Common Sense, called their push 'the legislative equivalent of looting.' "

Firefighters. To distribute flyers.

1,000 firefighters called to Atlanta for training.

In flyering and disseminating phone numbers.

To people who don't have phone lines.

Katrina Timeline

Must vomit now.

Ouch. Just ouch.

Geography: an elective in Alaska schools

Alaska's distinguished senators explain the Gulf's disaster response.

Mysterious Mike Leigh

From The Guardian

The buzz at the National Theatre in London is over a new show that is sold out without anyone knowing what the play will be about.

...no one but Mike Leigh and his actors know what his first stage play for 12 years is about. But that has not hindered its performance at the box office. The new production, which is currently going by the intuitive title of A New Play by Mike Leigh, has already sold out after theatregoers snapped up more than 16,000 advance tickets.

Sure, there's a celebrity factor. But Leigh's first stage production in 12 years?!?!

This one has arts administrators shaking their heads. Cal Performances commissions new works when they have the money, from big arts names like Mark Morris or Pina Bausch. And they'll book in Laurie Anderson or Robert LePage based on the name draw alone. They'll even book these when the shows aren't finished yet. But at the very least, they expect to have a description of what the show is about in their season program.

After the shock, the schlock.

I'm confident enough about myself* that I can admit I kind of have a thing for Oprah. She who gave birth to Dr. Phil. But she's walking a fine line these days. And teetering over the edge a little bit.

This week she's in New Orleans, accompanied by the Angel Network. Maybe not the whole network, but plenty of the seraphim, including Matthew McConaughey and Dr Oz. (By the way, do any of you know who he is? Celebrity heart surgeon is what I'm assuming.)

Anyway, that's all well and good, except when Oprah tours the Houston Astrodome, and of course plenty of shellshocked survivors are rushing up to her and giving her forlorn hugs. One older woman is sobbing and hugging her, and Oprah holds her head a little apart from the woman, insisting, "You're going to be fine you're going to be fine you're going to be fine," a little too crisply and firmly, with the subtext to the camera guy, "Get this woman off me and go find me a child under six years old, please."

But props to Oprah for just letting her hair go natural for once. Keepin' it real, Oprah.

Anyway, it was getting a little smarmy for me so I had to turn it off before Faith Hill showed up.

Today's show features Network cherubim John Travolta and Julia Roberts.** You can be sure I'll be faithfully monitoring the situation for you, dear Blognabbit readers, from the triage center that is my living room. On account of my kid being home sick today.

If you scroll through this link you'll see a photo of Matthew M. sporting his Erika Badhu look.

_____
*Actually, I'm insecure enough that I can only acknowledge this fact in the privacy of my very own blog. Never at work, say. Or at a party.

**The word cherub (cherubim is the Hebrew masculine plural) is a word borrowed from the Assyrian kirubu, from karâbu, "to be near", hence it means near ones, familiars, personal servants, bodyguards, courtiers. It was commonly used of those heavenly spirits, who closely surrounded the Majesty of God and paid Him intimate service.

Barbara Bush sees the upside

Barbara Bush while visiting refugees at the Astrodome:

"Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them," Mrs. Bush told American Public Media's "Marketplace" program, before returning to her multi-million dollar Houston home.

Landrieu's turn to quit being polite

From the NY Times:

"If one person criticizes [the local authorities] or says one more thing - including the president of the United States - he will hear from me," she said on the ABC program "This Week." "One more word about it after this show airs and I might likely have to punch him. Literally."

Not only did he run the Arabian horse org; he was FIRED from it

Unbefuckinglievable.

Federal Flood Relief Arrives --- And It's More Tax Cuts!

Sen. Bill Frist will move forward with a vote to permanently repeal the estate tax next week. Given sudden dire needs for increased federal revenues and charitable contributions, one questions his timing. Or wait -- maybe this will be the perfect time to hide the provision 200 pages deep in some emergency flood control bill that would surely pass unanimously.

The Clueless-in-Chief

Says Markos Moulitsas, the following transcript of the President's visit to Biloxi reads like a Saturday Night Live skit.

Anderson Cooper lays into Landrieu

Video of CNN's Anderson Cooper talking with Sen. Mary Landrieu, who's "not angry at anyone."

COOPER: Senator, I’m sorry… for the last four days, I have been seeing dead bodies here in the streets of Mississippi and to listen to politicians thanking each other and complimenting each other — I have to tell you, there are people here who are very upset and angry, and when they hear politicians thanking one another, it just, you know, it cuts them the wrong way right now, because there was a body on the streets of this town yesterday being eaten by rats because this woman has been laying in the street for 48 hours, and there is not enough facilities to get her up.

Bush's Obscene Tirades Rattle White House Aides

Um, ok. I was in no mood for this either.

I'm still not.

I don't know these Capitol Hill Blue people, so I can't vouch for their access to "white house aides."

Maybe: how 'bout you don't click on the link and go to sleep easier.

Where the Bible Belt came unbuckled

Part elegy for a lost city, part screed about the preznit's fiddling while Rome burns: catch Howell Raines' special report in The Guardian.

Excerpts:

Almost as unbelievable as Katrina itself is the fact that the leader of the free world has been outshone by the elected leaders of a region renowned for governmental ineptitude.

and:

The populism of Huey Long was financially corrupt, but when it came to the welfare of people, it was caring. The church-going cultural populism of George Bush has given the United States an administration that worries about the house of Saud and the welfare of oil companies while the poor drown in their attics and their sons and daughters die on foreign deserts.

Shudder.

Feeling Good Is Understood

Crossing the Bay Bridge the other day, I was driving along side a white PT Cruiser painted with flashy pink signage that read "Larry Jr. - Certified Massage Therapist" and included, among other things, a URL. I simply could not resist going to www.larryjr.com.