Craig Ferguson on J.D. Salinger

(via Ken Tucker's TV Blog at EW)
From the January 28 edition of the The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: host Craig Ferguson riffs on Catcher in the Rye --for pretty much the entire monologue... (starts at 2:30 into the clip)

East Bay snow

IMG_0482
Originally uploaded by EBRPD Public Affairs

I drove the kids past Lawrence Hall of Science on the way to school today... not our usual route. Much of the traffic coming down the hill the opposite direction had a dusting of white, frosty stuff on their roofs and sides of the windshield.

The snow level hit about one thousand feet last night-- LHS had a light dusting on its landscaping and parking lots, and the fairways at the golf course in Tilden park were covered, too.

East Bay Regional Park District's public affairs office has a whole bunch of photos in their Flickr stream showing a different look to their parks-- dusted with snow during last night.

And blogger Rebecca Bond captured some photos of this morning's "snow day" at Sibley Regional Preserve in Oakland: Flickr set link

The Constitution: God's Gift to America

Did not know that Jesus Christ authored the U.S. Constitution himself. That's how it appears, at least, in this painting which was passed around the internet this week.

Hover your mouse over the image to reveal details, including Ronald Reagan, Nathan Hale, a non-Christian immigrant (now seeing the light), a smug college professor holding Darwin's Origin of Species, Satan, and that most pernicious of Supreme Court decisions, Martin vs. Hunter's Lessee (1816).

What's not clear from the painting is whether Jesus is holding a copy of the Constitution that includes the 14th Amendment, or whether his version maintains that whole "three-fifths of a person" bit from Article I.

Of course the internet loves to eat itself, so now there's an alternate version of the painting with alternative captions.

Original:

Farmer
Truly the backbone of America.

Revised:

Farmer
The government pays him not to grow stuff. Is against government handouts.

[via Andrew Sullivan]

Berkeley Empties Its Dungeon

At last, Cardinal Biggles can no longer poke prisoners with the soft cushion. At least not in Berkeley.

(Article from my new favorite local news source, InBerkeley.)

The Genuine Article

I have this brother-in-law and sister-in-law, and the thing is, since they had a kid? They can never focus on the important things anymore. Like, when they lived in San Francisco? and they would watch the home shopping network in the middle of the night? and never buy anything?

God I miss those days.

Stunning San Francisco time-lapse

Photographer Ben Wiggins likes to shoot time-lapse videos of cloud formations with his digital SLR camera. He also likes to photograph the transition from day to night. After dark he likes to shoot the flow of traffic, the glint of moonlight off the fog, and the dance of airplanes landing on and leaving the runway--like tiny fireflies in rhythmic formation.

Here Wiggins stitches together several sequences he shot in and around San Francisco this summer. It's awesome.

Click the four-arrow icon in the lower right corner to watch this fullscreen.

Another Cloud Reel... from Delrious on Vimeo.

Wiggins has other videos from the Fourth of July, the San Mateo County Fair midway at night, and underwater.

[via Laughing Squid]

Guerilla graphic design: Cardon Copy

via Chris Jobs at Curbly

Graphic designer Cardon Webb takes flyers posted in the neighborhood. Re-designs them. Not just re-designs: admittedly, he hijacks the flyer and overwhelms the essential content with design.

Then he puts it back where he found it.

Essential content is lost in the translation.

But, oh, what fun for fans of design.

Cardon Copy

Catching Up With Auto-Tune

I was about to post the link to the latest edition of Auto-Tune the News (#8) to the new Twitter feed when I stopped to consider that many of the current readers of Blognabbit/Twignabbit may be a bit old/white/tired/busy to have much pop-cultural context.

When I confirmed that neither Christa nor Tim were familiar with the seven previous editions I knew I needed to write more than six words about it.

"Auto-Tune" is the brand name of a digital audio processing technology used to correct pitch (on vocals or instruments). Since its creation in the 1990s it's been used to subtly (and unsubtly) modify musical performances both in the studio and live on stage, by pushing tones forcibly into perfectly tuned pitch.

Cher's single "Believe" (1998) was the first American pop hit to use Auto-Tune as a conscious aesthetic effect, with the settings cranked into overdrive. Previous uses of the technology had worked to hide its presence. At its most extreme, Auto-Tune eliminates the voice's natural ability to glide between pitches, creating a synthetic stair-step effect. Cher and her producers took what had been considered a quirk and placed it into the foreground.

While I primarily associate Auto-Tune with the singing of The Backyardigans, anyone listening to Top 40 radio or music videos since 2007 (anyone? anyone?) would have heard and seen the rise of singer-producer T-Pain as the new king* of Auto-Tune, who has been popping up with hyper-processed backing vocals and refrains on hit after hit** on the R&B and hip-hop charts. While the technology was more than a decade old (and available to anyone with a Mac and Garageband), T-Pain brought a particular gift for Auto-Tuned lyrical hooks and melodies that have continued to keep him in high demand. His surge in popularity led to a revival of Auto-Tune among a variety of artists across multiple pop musical genres.

In June 2008 Sasha-Frere Jones was clueing in readers of The New Yorker to the reign of T-Pain. But by the beginning of 2009 T-Pain's ubiquity had started to become a punch line--one the singer was happy to play along with, kicking off Saturday Night Live's (i.e. The Lonely Island's) "I'm On a Boat" (clean or uncensored YouTube links) with his trademark call "Shawt-ay-ay!"***

This past spring saw the debut of "Auto-Tune the News", a loopy series of music videos applying Auto-Tune to political speeches and television talking heads. Ridiculous wigs, a gorilla costume, and low-tech greenscreen effects belie the creators' lyrical and musical dexterity, as they spin the words of Joe Biden, Newt Gingrich, Katie Couric (their favorite muse), and a variety of members of Congress into Auto-Tuned musical gold. (Interspersed with several "Shawt-ay-ays".)

Here's the 6th edition, featuring Anoka's own queen of darkness Michelle Bachman, plus Nancy Pelosi, minority leader John Boehner, Sarah Palin, and Jackson Family attorney Brian Oxman:



In June Jay-Z declared the "Death of Auto-Tune" with the lead single off his new album, criticizing other artists for "T-Painin' too much." But despite his seniority in the rap world (or perhaps because of it), his exhortation won't likely dim the use of the technology any time soon, if a quick listen across the top 40 charts in Pop, R&B, Country, and Hip-Hop offers any indication.

Which brings us to this week, and the release of Auto-Tune the News #8. The latest edition features none other than: T-Pain, who turns his appearance into a commercial for his other new release of the week: the "I Am T-Pain" iPhone app.

The app is a collaboration between T-Pain, Antares (the originators of the technology), and Smule--a top-notch iPhone developer that grew out of Stanford's electronic music performance department, making it no mere novelty. For $2.99 you can download a mobile version of Auto-Tune with which you use your iPhone/iPod for on-demand vocal processing.

And by branding it as a T-Pain experience (with the app's name and icon), the "king" keeps his name synonymous with the technology, even if its only use is to goof off with your buddies while you're waiting in line for a movie (the app also makes it easy to share via MySpace and Facebook).

Within a couple of days the application reached the #1 spot among paid apps in iTunes. Meaning that Jay-Z's proclamation notwithstanding, it remains T-Pain's world. We just sing "Shawt-ay-ay" in it.

Here's a playlist of all of the Auto-Tune the News videos, in sequential order. It'll take a good half hour if you want to watch them straight through. (YouTube link):



And I'm assuming you've seen "I'm On a Boat", right? Because that thing gets funnier every time you watch it. (clean or uncensored)

Here's T-Pain's website, YouTube channel, and Twitter feed.

And if you're not sick of it by now, here's another funny internet video positing the use of Auto-Tune in the workplace.



===========================

*Given the outfits and antics he often displays in music videos, T-Pain could as easily be described by overeducated postgrads as the clown prince--or even mascot--of Auto-Tune.

**"Good Life" with Kanye West (winner of the 2008 Grammy for Best Rap Song), "Kiss Kiss" with Chris Brown (prior to Brown's domestic violence conviction), "Low" with Flo Rida (a favorite on the Ellen show), plus tons more. You can check out iTunes' "Essentials" list of the top T-Pain tracks for sale.

***An Auto-Tuned pronunciation of "Shawty", itself a variant of "Shorty", the 00s alternate for "Girl".

Average Rating: 3 Stars

What's a consumer to make of two business reviews on Citisearch? One's a 5-star and the other a 1-star. Should I just average them as Citisearch so helpfully does for me? Or perhaps reading the reviews will give me a little insight:

EZ Cleaners, 2308 Colorado Blvd, Pasadena CA

In this corner, alex c:

I've been going to EZ Cleaners for more than a year and their service is nothing but excellent. I am extremely happy when I receive my clothes because not once did I have a complaint. I trust my most expensive garment to be in their care and they also have reasonable prices.
PROS: great service, good prices
CONS:

But does he/she trust his/her second-most expensive garment?

And in this corner, Barbara S:

Over the course of two years, this dry cleaners damaged 4 different pieces of clothing and then refused to take responsiblity. When it was brought to owner's, attention, he said that I don't have proof that he did the damage because he didn't charge me for cleaning the item. Believe me he would have taken the money if I had been willing to pay for the poor service they provided. I refused to pay after seeing the damage. Did he think I would actually pay him for damaging my expensive clothing? The owner is rarely at his store, but instead is out opening more locations. His employees (the one's snagging, ripping, spotting
etc...the clothes) are not experienced in the dry cleaning business. Be aware of this sweat shop type place and take your nice clothes to a professional dry cleaners because this place sucks.
PROS: cheap prices
CONS: worst dry cleaners in town

Maybe I can request the one that's not snagging, ripping, spotting etc...the clothes.

TR Reid and the Healing of America

TR Reid makes an entertaining case for why we need to end this crazy American rationing of health care. He brings his sore shoulder around the world to test out health care systems offered by various nationalized health care systems. Listen to the end and take note of his experiences in India.

Where can I send my check to help change our screwed-up Darwinian health care model?

Matters of Life and Twitter

Recently an underemployed "analytics" firm looked at Twitter usage and announced via press release that 40% of tweets are "pointless babble." Stephen Fry expressed his disappointment on his blog that the number was so low:

I would have hoped 100% of Twitter was fully free of earnestness, usefulness and commercial intent. (Link)

Many of the people I follow on Twitter are inveterate wisenheimers, who have spent months (or years) chiding, mocking, and bitterly assailing those who attempt use the service for earnest, useful purposes.

This past January, however, Josh Hopkins, a popular (and often profane) member of the Favrd comedy crowd interrupted his flow of jokes with something unexpected.

Deficits could force the post office to continue reading your dirty magazines and delivering the rest of your mail to your neighbor. (Link)

and

Turns out, pregnant women don't want their body mass index calculated. God. Obese people can be so rude. (Link)

were followed by

On the way to the hospital. Baby and mom aren't doing so well. May deliver today. More details to come. (Link)

and shortly thereafter

Getting transported to NICU for C-section immediately. Baby has a heart defect. Not sure what's going to happen. I'll update after delivery. (Link)

Finally, a few hours later, just:

Lucy Kate Hopkins http://twitpic.com/18wad (Link)

and

Lucy is 2lbs. 1.5oz. & 13 1/2 in. Mom and baby are okay. Thank you everyone. You guys are so awesome. (Link)

Lucy Kate Hopkins was born 10 weeks premature, with two congenital heart defects and Trisomy 21 (Down's Syndrome). She remained in the hospital for 75 days before Josh and his wife could bring her home.

When my own son was born he spent the first hour of his life in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) while they monitored his oxygen levels. Christa was being sewn up following the unplanned C-section, and I stood there by myself, watching my little boy attached to monitors and machines, unable to pick him up and hold him to me. The NICU was a lonely and frightening place, even knowing that he was going to be fine soon.

Contrast that with a baby like Lucy Kate, for whom the first few hours (or days) offer no easy assurances of survival. And yet Josh, the father, took the time to tap out a few words to a thousand strangers with whom he had previously shared little more than 140-character poop and dick jokes.

"Thank you everyone. You guys are so awesome."

This in response to the dozens (possibly hundreds) of heartfelt and humorous Twitter replies and messages he had received on his mobile device from this virtual community in support of him and his family during the early hours of their ordeal.

The NYT this week published a story about parents who suffer from PTSD following their experiences in the NICU with their premature infants. It quotes from Vicki Forman's new book, This Lovely Life. In it she writes “From the moment my twins were born, I saw potential for tragedy wherever I turned. It would be years before I stopped thinking that way.”

As he had before his NICU experience, Josh Hopkins saw potential humor wherever he turned, and shared it with the audience in his pocket.

Lucy weighs 2lbs. 11oz. today. I'm concerned about her weight gain. I think the Skittles I've secretly been feeding her are making her fat. (Link)

Looking at all the tubes, syringes and meth on the kitchen countertop, you would think we were running a meth lab instead of feeding a baby. (Link)

I don't know Josh Hopkins. I can't claim to know the many ways in which Lucy's health challenges and her time in the hospital have affected him or his wife. I do imagine that were their story to be introduced into the maelstrom of bullshit and bloviation that passes for "mainstream" discourse on television and Op-Ed columns and the internet, Josh would be accused of all manner of transgressions of decency, mental health, common sense, and taste (the latter I expect he would wear proudly), for sharing his experience in this way using something as public and "pointless" as Twitter.

And what interests me is not just Josh's story, but the experience of the 3000+ of his Twitter followers who have been "listening in" over the past week as Lucy has gone back into the hospital for heart surgery. In the middle of our days we've received updates of Lucy being placed on heart bypass, of her sternum being closed, of her arms and legs wiggling for the first time after sedation, of her being taken off the respirator, then back on again.

And of course Josh has had time to Twitter, because the experience of a family member in the hospital is nothing but endless stretches of time, waiting in an outer room, "showering" in restroom sinks, being unable to contribute in any meaningful way.

My wife and I finally ate burritos. I imagine it was like watching two lions attack a pack of zebras on the Discovery Channel. (Link)

Sleeping in the waiting room is the best sleep I've never gotten. (Link)

And using a different account, Josh is Twittering in the voice of Lucy:

Still not feeling well. My right lung is partially collapsed, but the doctors are taking care of me. I can't wait to wake up and play soon! (Link)

I'm starting to be more awake now. I tried to cry out but I couldn't, so my Daddy sang to me to keep me calm. (Link)

Again, the "friends" in Josh's pocket have responded to him, with messages of encouragement and more. A couple of folks helped manage donations to the family through Josh's Amazon Wish List, or cash donations through PayPal. Someone else thought to set up a special link to the new book Twitter Wit--featuring several contributions by Josh (and one by me)--through which a portion of each purchase would be given to Josh's family.

Myself, I feel paralyzed when trying to put something meaningful into a Twitter-sized burst of text to someone I don't really know who's sitting scared shitless in a hospital as his five-month-old is undergoing open heart surgery. Even though it's clear from Josh's tweets that the encouragement matters. And that it's okay if what you write is trite or if someone's said it before, and said it better than you.

But my own emotional and superegotistical roadblocks have kept me from writing much of anything to Josh, or to @AinsleyofAttack when her mother died, or to @Moltz as he sat alone reading Twitter messages while his wife was undergoing her double mastectomy in the wake of her breast cancer diagnosis. Then again I'm also the asshole who doesn't leave birthday wishes on people's Facebook walls.

Looking at my Facebook news feed yesterday, it was clogged from top to bottom with people's reflections on the death of Ted Kennedy--some thoughtful, some emotional, some with links to words or video from elsewhere. That's a fair amount of emotional and attentional bandwidth for someone none of these people personally knew.

Kottke blogged last week about the coming "abundance of death", in which the rate at which someone we are aware of (the famous and the micro-famous) will die will increase to a daily (or more than daily) event. The day will come sooner than that when death, tragedy, or life-threatening illness will affect the lives of someone we "know" on our digital social networks.

What will it mean to our psyches and emotional consciousness to have this persistent window into the hardships of so many individuals in something approximating "real time"? To receive up-to-the-minute updates of difficult labors, car accidents, families trapped in attics as floodwaters rise, kids dying of gunshot wounds, parents with Alzheimer's slowly slipping away? Tiny Lucy's journey has occupied a fair amount of my emotional space this week (and the time it has taken to write these 1500 words).

Then again, it doesn't fucking matter how hard it is for me to peer through these tiny, text-based windows into the suffering of others from the vantage point of my life (and its privilege and blessings).

What matters--to Josh, or to anyone who posts a Twitter message or Facebook status from a place of loneliness, pain, or fear--is the window out.

===========================================

Give some money to Josh and his family. You can follow Josh or Lucy on Twitter. Then, if you still feel like it, you can buy the Twitter Wit book through the special link. It's pretty funny. I show up on page 107.

===========================================

UPDATE: (September 14, 2009) Lucy Kate's progress is being shared on her own blog. Josh is raising money for the Indiana Down Syndrome Foundation in Lucy Kate's name.

Blognabbit gets all Twittered up

There's a new member of the Blognabbit family in town:

http://twitter.com/twignabbit

Follow the @twignabbit Twitter feed for links to all Blognabbit posts PLUS additional links to videos, pictures, articles, and other tasty netmeats requiring no additional commentary.

Go on.

The Barry Gibb Talk Show

I haven't watched an episode of Saturday Night Live in over a decade, so forgive me that I missed this semi-recurring sketch featuring Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake as brothers Barry and Robin Gibb (of The Bee Gees), hosting an American political talk show.

Timberlake and the writers must enjoy the sketch quite a lot--bringing back Fallon multiple times after his 2004 departure from the SNL cast.

This fourth edition aired in May of this year. Like many inhabitants of the SNL canon, it is structurally indistinguishable from the previous versions (although it is perhaps the most polished).

I was howling. Your mileage may vary.



Hulu link

The Onion: Sold to China

This week's edition of The Onion shows its makeover as a new subsidiary of Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corp.

The entire issue is worth poring through, including their lead story, "Potato Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet".

[Teacher Heather] Warner then gave the boy a star-shaped sticker, explaining that he had learned the unsophisticated system of characters containing no ideogrammic compounds or transformed cognates more quickly than she'd expected.

There are also reports from the new Onion Radio News ("No U.S. Military Leader is Worthy To Be Namesake of Breaded Chicken Dish") and ONN Video (complete with important messages about delicious Yu Wan Mei food products).

And holy crap. The Onion online store now features Yu Wan Mei specialty label products. Sadly the "Miscellaneous Tasty Paste" is sold out.

Of course you can read about more Yu Wan Mei products at their website or by following the company on Twitter.

In his farewell editorial, former publisher Herman T. Zweibel announces "Well, I've Sold the Paper to the Chinese."

In his inaugural editorial, new publisher (and CEO of Yu Wan Mei) Zuo Xiabing asks "Why Did No One Inform Us Of The Imminent Death Of The American Newspaper Industry?"

And announces The Onion is up for sale once more.

Wowee: Giant Aquarium Tank Video

You need to click the link to view this video in HD.

Move your mouse over the video thumbnail to reveal the controls, then click the "full screen" button (four small arrows pointing diagonally outward). Give it time to load before playing.

This is a single, unedited shot taken at the second largest aquarium tank in the world, at the Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium in Japan.

The main tank called the "Kuroshio Sea" holds 7,500-cubic meters (1,981,290 gallons) of water and features the world's second largest acrylic glass panel, measuring 8.2 meters by 22.5 meters with a thickness of 60 centimeters. Whale sharks and manta rays are kept amongst many other fish species in the main tank.

Think about those measurements for a moment if you're feeling unconvinced.

If you don't like the song the videographer chose, you can mute it. But seriously. This one's awesome. Great for sharing with the kids.

Link

[via Kottke]

Mashup: Ocean's Eleven and The Great Muppet Caper

Mexico Builds Border Wall to Keep Out US Assholes

From the Spanish-language Onion News Network

Susan Boyle: The Movie

Casting has begun. See link for top candidates.

John Hodgman addresses the POTUS

Inarguably the nerdiest speech a sitting president of the United States has ever been asked to perform the lead-in to.

John Hodgman headlines the Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner*, where he contrasts the current "nerd" White House with the previous administration of "jocks", and also outs President Obama as a Star Trek fan.

His performance is a brilliantly deadpan nerdcore triumph, complete with references to typeface nerds, Conan comics, and the David Lynch movie adaptation of Dune.



YouTube link

*A room filled with nerds, all old enough to remember when that wasn't cool to be AT ALL. Meaning: too old to find Hodgman especially funny.

Obama writes girl a note for missing school

At one of Obama's health care town halls, in Green Bay, Wisconsin, a man asking a question mentions that his ten-year-old daughter Kennedy has skipped the last day of school to attend the event.

"Do you need me to write a note?" the president asks, then pulls out a pen to write:

"Please excuse Kennedy's absence. She's with me. Barack Obama."

He steps down off the stage to deliver the note before continuing the town hall meeting.

THIS is the Obama who as the junior Senator from Illinois killed (twice) on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

Link